Scar (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
envy_the_sinners) wrote2010-04-16 01:30 pm
envy_the_sinners) wrote2010-04-16 01:30 pm
Throne of Shadows app
1. Player Information
Name: Lauren
Username:latiaos | ![[plurk.com profile]](https://plurk.com/favicon.ico)
latiaos
Current characters in ToS: Aileen Ritter and Seth Balmore
Reserve: Here!]
2. Canon Character Information
Name: Scar (This was a code name given to him by the investigations department in Central that was heading his case. Scar's actual name is not given in canon.)
PB: Scar's a drawn character, so caps from canon and occasionally fanart
Journal:envy_the_sinners
Age: No canon age is given, but I guess about 27.
Appearance: For a grouchy behemoth of a guy, Scar keeps up his appearance well. He's always clean shaven and dressed as well as he can manage. He has a medium/dark complexion and red eyes characteristic of his race. Scar stands 6'4" and is very athletically and muscularly built. He lifts, bruh. A lot. In spite of his size, he is very quick on his feet in canon, and carries himself with ease. That being said, his body language is almost always stiff and alert. He has spent nearly half of his life either on the run or in a war zone, and many of his mannerisms reflect the fact that he never truly left those times behind. He moves quickly when out in the open, he walks on the shaded side of the street, he's constantly looking over his shoulder. Little things. Scar is very rarely at ease, mentally and physically, and this is obvious.
In addition to the large scar that bisects his eyes and gives him his name, Scar is covered in... well, scars. Most notably, there is a jagged scar circling his upper right arm where it was fused to his body, and bullet scars in his chest, shoulder and leg. His right arm was not originally his own, though the difference is minimal to unnoticeable. It is covered in complex symbols that form a highly advanced transmutation circle.
History: The FMA wiki is... kinda wrong in several places, and I don't think it does a great job of portraying Scar, but it's there. It should also be noted that anything specifically pertaining to the "2009 anime," "Brotherhood," or the manga would be innacurrate, as Scar is a wildly different character in the version from which I am playing him. Anything specifically labelled "2003 anime" is much more likely to be accurate.
Powers/Talents: Scar is a trained martial artist and has seen a lot of experience in combat. Because he was born in his universe, he is capable of using any sort of alchemy, the process of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. His right arm is tattooed with the transmutation circle for the Philosopher's Stone, so he can deconstruct any material whose makeup he understands. His arm is also capable of absorbing human lives (yep) in order to compile them into the Stone, an alchemic amplifier. It also serves as a healing agent because of the lives contained within it.
On top of his alchemic capabilities, Scar is a very skilled survivalist, having spent considerable time alone in the wilderness as well as homeless in the city streets. He has an intense charisma that he can switch on in front of large groups of people driven by a strong cause, and is proven in canon to be able to take on a sort of cult-leader role, when he sees fit. This, however, is not something that he takes advantage of often. Scar vastly prefers to work alone.
Personality: The first and most important aspect of Scar's personality is that he the product of a very hard life. Although he has not even lived 30 years, Scar has endured more suffering and loss than most people experience in a lifetime. To say that he even "endured" it is not entirely accurate. He may have survived the loss of his family, the genocide of most of his country, homelessness, and running from the most powerful military force in his world, but Scar is unrecognisable when compared to himself some 15 years ago. He is bitter, depressed, and withdrawn, and hasn't known any semblance of normalcy in a very long time.
In day to day conversation, Scar is pretty much the "strong, silent type." He doesn't set aside time for chatter, or much social activity at all. He doesn't do things for fun, he does them for practicality. His speech patterns can often come across as stiff, overly proper, and often a touch melodramatic. Ask him about his personal life, and you'll be met with a frown, not that he really has a personal life to speak of. He has no family left, and he won't speak of his deceased brother except in extreme circumstances. He hasn't had a friend in the traditional sense of the word since the war, and has severe issues with trust. Often times, a stranger is guilty until proven innocent. Scar has some serious tunnel vision, and will fixate on minor details, often to avoid a difficult emotional topic at large. It's a defence mechanism, similar to his anger. In emotional or difficult personal situations, he will quickly grow frustrated and angry- both as a coping mechanism and in frustration for his own emotional stuntedness. In many ways, he is aware that he does not react to situations the way he should, and this can make him angry at himself and aggravate his self-loathing tendencies. He is very quick to point out and prod at faults in others that he also sees in himself, and he has a severe lack of tact in conversation. Sometimes, this is completely intentional. Scar is a spiteful, bitter man, and he tends to push that onto others. He's pushy and incredibly stubborn. When he sets his mind to something, it's his way or no way. Scar has little regard for authority figures for a similar reason. He will rebel against someone just because he doesn't like them.
Though he no longer considers himself a proper Ishbalan because of the atrocities he as committed, Scar still adheres to many traditional Ishbalan tendencies, and is very judgemental of those who live outside certain social boundaries that he considers acceptable. Women should be "decently covered." Public drunkenness is shameful; he almost never touches alcohol. He frowns upon casual sex and would be That Guy who "accidentally" sprays the PDA offenders with a hose. He can be a huge, fun-sucking stiff. You know those people who just liven the party when they walk in? Scar is the opposite. He will sit in a corner and sulk about how he has to be there. He can really be a giant, overgrown manbaby. If someone flirts with him, there is approximately a .001% chance that he will notice. He has always been clueless in that department, and the events of his life have only fostered this. This "who, me?" tendency carries into his platonic interactions as well. Scar isn't used to people reacting positively to him. He doesn't expect anybody to go out of their way for him. He always assumes that people think the worst.
In spite of the blank, angry mask he presents, Scar is an extremely emotional person. He lets emotions bubble and store inside him until they spill out, sometimes suddenly, sometimes over time. These feelings can be positive or negative, depending on the situation. Positive ones, he tends to hide meticulously, espeically if they are about other people. He is a very polarized and self-contradicting person, prone to bouts of behavior that could very well completely go against what he was saying five minutes ago. He can be perfectly calm one minute, then see something or hear something seemingly innocent and be triggered to rage. There are few things that won't set him off in one way or another. Racial discussion, talk of war, an attempt to control him, or any sort of threat to what few things he holds important could trigger rages. Topics that remind him of his guilt could send him into deep depressive states. The value he places on human life is disturbingly warped. He knowingly and willingly sacrificed thousands of lives for the sake of one, and will very quickly throw his own life away. And yet, he still shows signs that he is aware of the wrongness of his actions. Why he still does these things, even he isn't sure. All in all, Scar is extremely emotionally unstable.
The deeper part of Scar that is rarely put on display is the source of many of his problems. The only thing that can truly terrify Scar is loss. Fear of his own death is warped and pushed to the side, because of both his emotional troubles and his obsessive protectiveness of the few things he holds dear. Scar shows affection by taking stupid risks. In many ways, he has a childish, ego-centric view of himself as some kind of "other." No, he can't have friends because he's him. Why would he have a normal life? He's Scar! Scar gets trapped in a delusion that it is simply not possible for him to lead a normal life or to find happiness. He often justifies this as some sort of divine punishment.
Those who get close ('close' being relative in most cases) to Scar might notice some smaller behavioral ticks or personal issues, many of which he is loath to let onto. Thanks to his experience with human alchemy as well as the war/genocide, he suffers from severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Scar sleeps poorly, and has frequent nightmares revolving around the violence of the war, the horror of human alchemy, and his loved ones' roles in all of it. He is notably paranoid about the supposedly bad intentions of others, and he struggles to shut off his mind and stop thinking. To stop being worried all the time. He struggles with situations that cannot be solved by force or strategy, and he can easily be described as a brute. Scar always has an escape path in mind. He walks on the more sheltered side of the street. He keeps his eyes on the sidewalk. On bad days, it's like he never left the war behind. In addition to this, he exercises meticulously, and will read for hours when he has books available. Anything to keep his depressed and anxious mind busy. When he is certain he's alone, Scar will talk to himself, mostly to his brother and less frequently to God.
During the years following the war, Scar molded himself as a tool for revenge. His self-worth became entirely focused on his hatred for Amestris and for his brother for befalling such tragedy on his life. He was more like a machine than a man, citing God as justification for his murders when even he knew that they were morally wrong. There's that self contradiction: Scar insists that he is carrying out the will of God by killing State Alchemists, yet he insists that he is such a stained man that he cannot accept the hospitality of his people. He kills alchemists with alchemy, a forbidden practice, yet insists that he is only doing "what his arm instructs him." Scar is always looking for someone to blame, even if his conclusion makes no sense. In a situation post his death and by extension the "completion" of his revenge, he is a man without purpose. A decade of blinding hatred has made him forget what it means to simply live. This affects his already dangerously low sense of self worth. He threw his life away for revenge because he had nothing left. Now what does he have? What is his purpose? He doesn't have one.
Scar is a person who will often fail to see what he has until it is threatened. Because Scar makes such scant few connections with people, those who do grow close to him really stand out. Almost always, if he connects with someone, it is because they remind him of some positive aspect of his life that existed in the past. Before people are themselves in Scar's eyes, they represent someone else. They can grow out of that in his eyes, but usually, that shadow will always be there. He projects what he wants to see on others, and he does not connect to people in a normal way. This is most evident in his relationships with Lust and the Elric brothers, Lust being a literal manifestation of someone he loves, and the Elrics representing his younger self and his brother, as both families share many connections. When he makes these kinds of connections, they are a constant struggle of wanting to cling to them and wanting to push them away. This is his fear of loss at work; Scar has never known permanence, and though it is an impossible thing to fully attain, he thinks it even more improbable than it actually is. Everything is taken away from him. It's like the universe is out to get him. Again, that egocentricism. Maybe some people can find happiness, but not him. He was denied that in life. This takes a heavy toll on Scar's would-be relationships with people. He can be extremely possessive, yet cold and dismissive. He can't tell a person simply that he cares about them, yet he will relatively easily put his life on the line for another.
With Scar's tendency to bottle his emotions and let them stew comes some strange and highly charged outlooks in the long term. Scar sat on his hatred for his brother for years, clinging to it and letting it fuel him. It wasn't until his dying moments that he finally let it go, confessing that he had loved the other man. Post-death, he has to live with the constant regret and guilt of how he treated his brother. This is something that has been weighing him down for over a decade, but he has only just started to face it. He also struggles to face the reality and implications of Lust, both in her mere existence and in who she is to Scar. She is a perfect duality, representing both his greatest traumas and regrets as well as his only constant and potential source of something that even resembles happiness. He would sooner admit that there was an error in her creation than accept the possibility that she may have plain and honest feelings for him. She brings out his worst and his best. Lust stirs his impulsiveness like no one else can, yet he over-analyses her every move. He can't think around her, can't ignore her, can't even stay angry at her much to his frustration. Again, this is mostly because "Lust" technically had her foot in the door a long time ago. Scar never let go of his feelings for his brother's fiancee, ashamed of them as he was, and now she's suddenly back, a walking, talking *slap* in the face of everything Scar held sacred. It's like some horrible, supernatural soap opera. Lust is a crazy, unlikely exception to many of Scar's usual tendencies. He simply doesn't form romantic attachment, but with the old, twisted feelings to build on, the possibility is now there. Lust shows Scar a nearly unconditional kindness that baffles him and makes him wary but also draws him in. She becomes his anchor, both repulsive and alluring in her very nature.
Although Scar is a largely dysfunctional person in many angles of his life, he is extremely intelligent. He was able to transmute the Philosopher's Stone, after all, something that even the most advanced alchemists can only dream of. Yet Scar was able to do it by using his brother's scattered notes and the advice of an old Ishbalan exile. He is a triple treat, you could almost call it. He is scientifically and mathematically brilliant, evidenced by his alchemic prowess. He is a physical force to be reckoned with, with his speed, strength, and training. He is a surprisingly effective manipulator when it serves his pre-outlined cause. There is a reason that the Amestrian military didn't corner him until he decided he wanted them to. Scar can effortlessly appeal to a group of people at large, especially an angry group of people. In canon, he successfully convinces an entire oppressed city that one young woman is their Holy Mother, and gets them to fight on his behalf while he plots the destruction of several thousand Amestrian troops. When his cause is cold and detached enough, Scar can be cult-leader levels of charismatic. This is not something that he frequently takes advantage of. For the most part, Scar prefers to keep his methods to himself, refusing to rely on others as coincides with his approach to everything else in his life.
If all of this rage and emptiness is Scar's "nurtured" state, the result of his life, his "natural" personality may appear to be the exact opposite. Throughout his youth, Scar was quiet and gentle. He is the way he is today because what happened over the course of those four years twisted his good nature into something grotesque and nearly unrecognisable. He holds very dearly the people he loves, and would protect them at any cost. A threat to someone Scar cares about has always triggered a rage in him that used to be scary, because how could such fire come from such a mild-mannered boy? When looking back on Scar's personality before life dealt him a steaming pile of shit, it becomes more clear as to why he is the way he is today. With this being said, how much of this younger self is truly dead? The truth is, a lot of it is still in there. Scar's lifestyle of violence exhausts him, and his obsessive anger has led him to become completely burned out. He so willingly walked to his death because he didn't know how he could possibly keep going like this. It is not in Scar's nature to be an empty killing machine. That "self" was artificially shaped by both himself and the events around him, and he has grown to despise it, because it ruined what little chances of a life in his home world he had left. The entire persona of "Scar" is not him, and living as "Scar" has finally worn him to the last thread. He states openly in canon that he doesn't deserve his old identity. That his old self is dead. But, in yet another self-contradiction, his nature shines through. His gentleness, devotion, and protectiveness, evidenced mostly by his interactions with Lust and the Elrics, remain the most base of his attributes. He has a fondness and comfort with children that would shock those who only know the gruffer facade he puts up. Throughout both Fullmetal canons (which are drastically different) he comes to serve as a father figure for other characters. His protective nature makes him prone to taking care of things. Scar does emotionally better when he knows that someone is depending on him.
He also really loves cats.
Why would your character be chosen? Scar would be chosen for his fortitude and dedication. He is also incredibly smart, arguably a scientific genius because of his incredible ability to pick up and utilize alchemic principles, which are comparable to advanced mathematics and science, especially chemistry.
How much does your character know about nonhumans? More than he would like to. Nonhumans are very present in the Alchemist universe, mainly in homunculi and intelligent chimera. Both species are completely artificial and raise very mixed emotions for Scar. He is more knowledgeable than most about the creation of both, especially since he is one of a small handful of people (half a dozen or so) who knows that homunculi are born of human transmutation.
Why this character: Scar is the first character I ever RPed, both in a LJ/DW setting and otherwise. He is a fascinating, if at times an emotionally exhausting study in self-contradictions, and playing him in a game setting is like trying to piece back together a vase that has been broken and rebroken for over a decade. He is and always has been my loudest voice, and I don't anticipate getting tired of him any time soon.
AU Addendum: n/a
Past Game History: Scar was held captive at Landel's Institute for a charged and eventful 15 days. While there, he became more familiar with modern American technology and culture. The Institute presented the facade of an asylum for the mentally ill during the day- frustratingly hygienic and overly friendly. Patients, Scar included, were told that their memories were all lies, and were even presented with information pertaining to false lives constructed by the Institute. Scar even found a photograph of himself with his brother, whom he knew to be long deceased.
Nights at Landel's were an entirely different story. The facade fell, revealing terrifying darkness and monstrous abominations that came with it. Patients spent the nights running about freely, trying (often fruitlessly) to uncover the secrets of Doctor Landel's operation.
It was on his first morning in the Institute that Scar ran into Lust, and because of the dire circumstances, the two forced themselves to work with one another, holding onto the only thing that was truly familiar at the Institute. During his early days, Scar connected with a few other patients as well- most notably a kind man who called himself Frank, and Murphy, an ex-con with whom Scar felt an immediate and rare personal connection. Throughout his stay at the Institute, Scar was moderately to severely injured on several occasions. He even died on one occasion, a traumatic event that forced him to reconsider how recklessly he treated his own life. Until then, Scar was used to being able to put his life on the line without consequence. Because he places the value of his own life at a very low level, and there hadn't been anyone to care about his life for years, he became used to brushing off danger. If he died, he died. Nobody would really care. However, Scar realized that this was the opposite of the truth upon returning to the other patients after the news of his death had spread. Lust's own extremely shaken reaction to this served as something of a wake-up call for Scar. He couldn't simply brush off the emotions of others as being driven by ulterior motives, and he couldn't delegitimize the simple fact that his well-being had an impact on someone else. This second death proved to be a major turning point for him, both in how he treats himself and how he treats those who care about him.
Scar is also more aware about the goings-on in his home world, thanks to explanations from Lust, Edward, and Alphonse. He knows that the Amestrian government is run by a group that Lust formerly worked for, though he knows little else, since she seems pained to speak on the subject. The dynamic of their interaction as a whole has come more to light now that they have been forced to get along in order to help each other survive. Old solutions, as well as new problems have sparked between them, and their relationship continues to be heavily emotional and unpredictable, though it is starting to lean towards positive. Scar has gained a lot of trust in Lust throughout the past couple of weeks. Scar is still outwardly cold toward her out of habit, but he is at least aware now that he needs to treat her like a person, rather than the monster he has been taught that she is. He is much more attached to her, now that all of the friends that he had made in the Institute (Frank, Murphy, Edward an Alphonse) have vanished. In spite of his intensely mixed feelings, Lust is all he has left. They have come to understand one another better.
Scar was among a very small number of patients remaining on the final night of Landel's viscious game. The man's voice came over the intercom as it always did, though this time it bragged that every last one of them would be gone by morning. Scar had been in a haze that entire day: The Elrics, whom he had come to love as family, had vanished. Their disappearance was the last straw for a mind and spirit already worn to breaking point. He couldn't even bring himself to get angry at Landel, to stir his rage into driving him forward. His will was completely broken. Lust, desperate to find some way to get him to pull himself back together, simply told Scar that she needed him. That was enough for Scar to kick himself into getting up one more time and pursuing Landel one more night before they were all doomed.
This when when the grasp would grab him.
4. Samples
First-Person:
Information would be helpful. Or perhaps some sort of proof.
[The voice on the network is gravelly and exhausted. Scar isn't ready to even admit that this place... the Wyld... could be real. He could just finally be going mad.]
Is this a place of the dead? Or something that comes in between?
[A pause.]
If anybody has heard of a man called Landel, or the hospital he runs, I would like to speak with you.
Third-Person: A thread with Russel Tringham on stubbornness and racial outrage...
Third Sample: The Wyld was such an unnatural place. Scar worked for hours in the light of what should have been noon, yet there was no sun to burn his neck. The modest shelter was nearly finished. It was practical, not particularly attractive looking, but Scar never aimed for curb appeal. If anything, he would prefer to blend in. A man exhausted by life wished for little more than peace and quiet, and that was what he needed in this place. What he prayed he could find.
Prayed... As if he had the right to do that anymore.
There was something cathartic, in the hard manual work. Forming a stable building kept his wandering mind busy, much as it tried to veer back to its usual hangups. Where were the Elrics? What were they doing now? Were they okay? Was anyone okay? Scar wasn't even certain of what had happened, in that last night. It was all a haze. The last thing he remembered before arriving here was leaving for Lust's room...
It didn't matter how many times he told himself that it was of no importance, now. He still thought about them. Frank. Murphy. All those unnamed whom he had never had the chance to even properly know. What could he do? The place was strange, as were the people living in it. Part of him assumed that he must have been dead, trapped in this otherworldly land as he was.
Scar set down his tools and wiped the sweat from his brow. Wherever this strange new dimension lay, it was home now.
Name: Lauren
Username:
latiaos | Current characters in ToS: Aileen Ritter and Seth Balmore
Reserve: Here!]
2. Canon Character Information
Name: Scar (This was a code name given to him by the investigations department in Central that was heading his case. Scar's actual name is not given in canon.)
PB: Scar's a drawn character, so caps from canon and occasionally fanart
Journal:
envy_the_sinnersAge: No canon age is given, but I guess about 27.
Appearance: For a grouchy behemoth of a guy, Scar keeps up his appearance well. He's always clean shaven and dressed as well as he can manage. He has a medium/dark complexion and red eyes characteristic of his race. Scar stands 6'4" and is very athletically and muscularly built. He lifts, bruh. A lot. In spite of his size, he is very quick on his feet in canon, and carries himself with ease. That being said, his body language is almost always stiff and alert. He has spent nearly half of his life either on the run or in a war zone, and many of his mannerisms reflect the fact that he never truly left those times behind. He moves quickly when out in the open, he walks on the shaded side of the street, he's constantly looking over his shoulder. Little things. Scar is very rarely at ease, mentally and physically, and this is obvious.
In addition to the large scar that bisects his eyes and gives him his name, Scar is covered in... well, scars. Most notably, there is a jagged scar circling his upper right arm where it was fused to his body, and bullet scars in his chest, shoulder and leg. His right arm was not originally his own, though the difference is minimal to unnoticeable. It is covered in complex symbols that form a highly advanced transmutation circle.
History: The FMA wiki is... kinda wrong in several places, and I don't think it does a great job of portraying Scar, but it's there. It should also be noted that anything specifically pertaining to the "2009 anime," "Brotherhood," or the manga would be innacurrate, as Scar is a wildly different character in the version from which I am playing him. Anything specifically labelled "2003 anime" is much more likely to be accurate.
Powers/Talents: Scar is a trained martial artist and has seen a lot of experience in combat. Because he was born in his universe, he is capable of using any sort of alchemy, the process of understanding, deconstructing, and reconstructing matter. His right arm is tattooed with the transmutation circle for the Philosopher's Stone, so he can deconstruct any material whose makeup he understands. His arm is also capable of absorbing human lives (yep) in order to compile them into the Stone, an alchemic amplifier. It also serves as a healing agent because of the lives contained within it.
On top of his alchemic capabilities, Scar is a very skilled survivalist, having spent considerable time alone in the wilderness as well as homeless in the city streets. He has an intense charisma that he can switch on in front of large groups of people driven by a strong cause, and is proven in canon to be able to take on a sort of cult-leader role, when he sees fit. This, however, is not something that he takes advantage of often. Scar vastly prefers to work alone.
Personality: The first and most important aspect of Scar's personality is that he the product of a very hard life. Although he has not even lived 30 years, Scar has endured more suffering and loss than most people experience in a lifetime. To say that he even "endured" it is not entirely accurate. He may have survived the loss of his family, the genocide of most of his country, homelessness, and running from the most powerful military force in his world, but Scar is unrecognisable when compared to himself some 15 years ago. He is bitter, depressed, and withdrawn, and hasn't known any semblance of normalcy in a very long time.
In day to day conversation, Scar is pretty much the "strong, silent type." He doesn't set aside time for chatter, or much social activity at all. He doesn't do things for fun, he does them for practicality. His speech patterns can often come across as stiff, overly proper, and often a touch melodramatic. Ask him about his personal life, and you'll be met with a frown, not that he really has a personal life to speak of. He has no family left, and he won't speak of his deceased brother except in extreme circumstances. He hasn't had a friend in the traditional sense of the word since the war, and has severe issues with trust. Often times, a stranger is guilty until proven innocent. Scar has some serious tunnel vision, and will fixate on minor details, often to avoid a difficult emotional topic at large. It's a defence mechanism, similar to his anger. In emotional or difficult personal situations, he will quickly grow frustrated and angry- both as a coping mechanism and in frustration for his own emotional stuntedness. In many ways, he is aware that he does not react to situations the way he should, and this can make him angry at himself and aggravate his self-loathing tendencies. He is very quick to point out and prod at faults in others that he also sees in himself, and he has a severe lack of tact in conversation. Sometimes, this is completely intentional. Scar is a spiteful, bitter man, and he tends to push that onto others. He's pushy and incredibly stubborn. When he sets his mind to something, it's his way or no way. Scar has little regard for authority figures for a similar reason. He will rebel against someone just because he doesn't like them.
Though he no longer considers himself a proper Ishbalan because of the atrocities he as committed, Scar still adheres to many traditional Ishbalan tendencies, and is very judgemental of those who live outside certain social boundaries that he considers acceptable. Women should be "decently covered." Public drunkenness is shameful; he almost never touches alcohol. He frowns upon casual sex and would be That Guy who "accidentally" sprays the PDA offenders with a hose. He can be a huge, fun-sucking stiff. You know those people who just liven the party when they walk in? Scar is the opposite. He will sit in a corner and sulk about how he has to be there. He can really be a giant, overgrown manbaby. If someone flirts with him, there is approximately a .001% chance that he will notice. He has always been clueless in that department, and the events of his life have only fostered this. This "who, me?" tendency carries into his platonic interactions as well. Scar isn't used to people reacting positively to him. He doesn't expect anybody to go out of their way for him. He always assumes that people think the worst.
In spite of the blank, angry mask he presents, Scar is an extremely emotional person. He lets emotions bubble and store inside him until they spill out, sometimes suddenly, sometimes over time. These feelings can be positive or negative, depending on the situation. Positive ones, he tends to hide meticulously, espeically if they are about other people. He is a very polarized and self-contradicting person, prone to bouts of behavior that could very well completely go against what he was saying five minutes ago. He can be perfectly calm one minute, then see something or hear something seemingly innocent and be triggered to rage. There are few things that won't set him off in one way or another. Racial discussion, talk of war, an attempt to control him, or any sort of threat to what few things he holds important could trigger rages. Topics that remind him of his guilt could send him into deep depressive states. The value he places on human life is disturbingly warped. He knowingly and willingly sacrificed thousands of lives for the sake of one, and will very quickly throw his own life away. And yet, he still shows signs that he is aware of the wrongness of his actions. Why he still does these things, even he isn't sure. All in all, Scar is extremely emotionally unstable.
The deeper part of Scar that is rarely put on display is the source of many of his problems. The only thing that can truly terrify Scar is loss. Fear of his own death is warped and pushed to the side, because of both his emotional troubles and his obsessive protectiveness of the few things he holds dear. Scar shows affection by taking stupid risks. In many ways, he has a childish, ego-centric view of himself as some kind of "other." No, he can't have friends because he's him. Why would he have a normal life? He's Scar! Scar gets trapped in a delusion that it is simply not possible for him to lead a normal life or to find happiness. He often justifies this as some sort of divine punishment.
Those who get close ('close' being relative in most cases) to Scar might notice some smaller behavioral ticks or personal issues, many of which he is loath to let onto. Thanks to his experience with human alchemy as well as the war/genocide, he suffers from severe post-traumatic stress disorder. Scar sleeps poorly, and has frequent nightmares revolving around the violence of the war, the horror of human alchemy, and his loved ones' roles in all of it. He is notably paranoid about the supposedly bad intentions of others, and he struggles to shut off his mind and stop thinking. To stop being worried all the time. He struggles with situations that cannot be solved by force or strategy, and he can easily be described as a brute. Scar always has an escape path in mind. He walks on the more sheltered side of the street. He keeps his eyes on the sidewalk. On bad days, it's like he never left the war behind. In addition to this, he exercises meticulously, and will read for hours when he has books available. Anything to keep his depressed and anxious mind busy. When he is certain he's alone, Scar will talk to himself, mostly to his brother and less frequently to God.
During the years following the war, Scar molded himself as a tool for revenge. His self-worth became entirely focused on his hatred for Amestris and for his brother for befalling such tragedy on his life. He was more like a machine than a man, citing God as justification for his murders when even he knew that they were morally wrong. There's that self contradiction: Scar insists that he is carrying out the will of God by killing State Alchemists, yet he insists that he is such a stained man that he cannot accept the hospitality of his people. He kills alchemists with alchemy, a forbidden practice, yet insists that he is only doing "what his arm instructs him." Scar is always looking for someone to blame, even if his conclusion makes no sense. In a situation post his death and by extension the "completion" of his revenge, he is a man without purpose. A decade of blinding hatred has made him forget what it means to simply live. This affects his already dangerously low sense of self worth. He threw his life away for revenge because he had nothing left. Now what does he have? What is his purpose? He doesn't have one.
Scar is a person who will often fail to see what he has until it is threatened. Because Scar makes such scant few connections with people, those who do grow close to him really stand out. Almost always, if he connects with someone, it is because they remind him of some positive aspect of his life that existed in the past. Before people are themselves in Scar's eyes, they represent someone else. They can grow out of that in his eyes, but usually, that shadow will always be there. He projects what he wants to see on others, and he does not connect to people in a normal way. This is most evident in his relationships with Lust and the Elric brothers, Lust being a literal manifestation of someone he loves, and the Elrics representing his younger self and his brother, as both families share many connections. When he makes these kinds of connections, they are a constant struggle of wanting to cling to them and wanting to push them away. This is his fear of loss at work; Scar has never known permanence, and though it is an impossible thing to fully attain, he thinks it even more improbable than it actually is. Everything is taken away from him. It's like the universe is out to get him. Again, that egocentricism. Maybe some people can find happiness, but not him. He was denied that in life. This takes a heavy toll on Scar's would-be relationships with people. He can be extremely possessive, yet cold and dismissive. He can't tell a person simply that he cares about them, yet he will relatively easily put his life on the line for another.
With Scar's tendency to bottle his emotions and let them stew comes some strange and highly charged outlooks in the long term. Scar sat on his hatred for his brother for years, clinging to it and letting it fuel him. It wasn't until his dying moments that he finally let it go, confessing that he had loved the other man. Post-death, he has to live with the constant regret and guilt of how he treated his brother. This is something that has been weighing him down for over a decade, but he has only just started to face it. He also struggles to face the reality and implications of Lust, both in her mere existence and in who she is to Scar. She is a perfect duality, representing both his greatest traumas and regrets as well as his only constant and potential source of something that even resembles happiness. He would sooner admit that there was an error in her creation than accept the possibility that she may have plain and honest feelings for him. She brings out his worst and his best. Lust stirs his impulsiveness like no one else can, yet he over-analyses her every move. He can't think around her, can't ignore her, can't even stay angry at her much to his frustration. Again, this is mostly because "Lust" technically had her foot in the door a long time ago. Scar never let go of his feelings for his brother's fiancee, ashamed of them as he was, and now she's suddenly back, a walking, talking *slap* in the face of everything Scar held sacred. It's like some horrible, supernatural soap opera. Lust is a crazy, unlikely exception to many of Scar's usual tendencies. He simply doesn't form romantic attachment, but with the old, twisted feelings to build on, the possibility is now there. Lust shows Scar a nearly unconditional kindness that baffles him and makes him wary but also draws him in. She becomes his anchor, both repulsive and alluring in her very nature.
Although Scar is a largely dysfunctional person in many angles of his life, he is extremely intelligent. He was able to transmute the Philosopher's Stone, after all, something that even the most advanced alchemists can only dream of. Yet Scar was able to do it by using his brother's scattered notes and the advice of an old Ishbalan exile. He is a triple treat, you could almost call it. He is scientifically and mathematically brilliant, evidenced by his alchemic prowess. He is a physical force to be reckoned with, with his speed, strength, and training. He is a surprisingly effective manipulator when it serves his pre-outlined cause. There is a reason that the Amestrian military didn't corner him until he decided he wanted them to. Scar can effortlessly appeal to a group of people at large, especially an angry group of people. In canon, he successfully convinces an entire oppressed city that one young woman is their Holy Mother, and gets them to fight on his behalf while he plots the destruction of several thousand Amestrian troops. When his cause is cold and detached enough, Scar can be cult-leader levels of charismatic. This is not something that he frequently takes advantage of. For the most part, Scar prefers to keep his methods to himself, refusing to rely on others as coincides with his approach to everything else in his life.
If all of this rage and emptiness is Scar's "nurtured" state, the result of his life, his "natural" personality may appear to be the exact opposite. Throughout his youth, Scar was quiet and gentle. He is the way he is today because what happened over the course of those four years twisted his good nature into something grotesque and nearly unrecognisable. He holds very dearly the people he loves, and would protect them at any cost. A threat to someone Scar cares about has always triggered a rage in him that used to be scary, because how could such fire come from such a mild-mannered boy? When looking back on Scar's personality before life dealt him a steaming pile of shit, it becomes more clear as to why he is the way he is today. With this being said, how much of this younger self is truly dead? The truth is, a lot of it is still in there. Scar's lifestyle of violence exhausts him, and his obsessive anger has led him to become completely burned out. He so willingly walked to his death because he didn't know how he could possibly keep going like this. It is not in Scar's nature to be an empty killing machine. That "self" was artificially shaped by both himself and the events around him, and he has grown to despise it, because it ruined what little chances of a life in his home world he had left. The entire persona of "Scar" is not him, and living as "Scar" has finally worn him to the last thread. He states openly in canon that he doesn't deserve his old identity. That his old self is dead. But, in yet another self-contradiction, his nature shines through. His gentleness, devotion, and protectiveness, evidenced mostly by his interactions with Lust and the Elrics, remain the most base of his attributes. He has a fondness and comfort with children that would shock those who only know the gruffer facade he puts up. Throughout both Fullmetal canons (which are drastically different) he comes to serve as a father figure for other characters. His protective nature makes him prone to taking care of things. Scar does emotionally better when he knows that someone is depending on him.
He also really loves cats.
Why would your character be chosen? Scar would be chosen for his fortitude and dedication. He is also incredibly smart, arguably a scientific genius because of his incredible ability to pick up and utilize alchemic principles, which are comparable to advanced mathematics and science, especially chemistry.
How much does your character know about nonhumans? More than he would like to. Nonhumans are very present in the Alchemist universe, mainly in homunculi and intelligent chimera. Both species are completely artificial and raise very mixed emotions for Scar. He is more knowledgeable than most about the creation of both, especially since he is one of a small handful of people (half a dozen or so) who knows that homunculi are born of human transmutation.
Why this character: Scar is the first character I ever RPed, both in a LJ/DW setting and otherwise. He is a fascinating, if at times an emotionally exhausting study in self-contradictions, and playing him in a game setting is like trying to piece back together a vase that has been broken and rebroken for over a decade. He is and always has been my loudest voice, and I don't anticipate getting tired of him any time soon.
AU Addendum: n/a
Past Game History: Scar was held captive at Landel's Institute for a charged and eventful 15 days. While there, he became more familiar with modern American technology and culture. The Institute presented the facade of an asylum for the mentally ill during the day- frustratingly hygienic and overly friendly. Patients, Scar included, were told that their memories were all lies, and were even presented with information pertaining to false lives constructed by the Institute. Scar even found a photograph of himself with his brother, whom he knew to be long deceased.
Nights at Landel's were an entirely different story. The facade fell, revealing terrifying darkness and monstrous abominations that came with it. Patients spent the nights running about freely, trying (often fruitlessly) to uncover the secrets of Doctor Landel's operation.
It was on his first morning in the Institute that Scar ran into Lust, and because of the dire circumstances, the two forced themselves to work with one another, holding onto the only thing that was truly familiar at the Institute. During his early days, Scar connected with a few other patients as well- most notably a kind man who called himself Frank, and Murphy, an ex-con with whom Scar felt an immediate and rare personal connection. Throughout his stay at the Institute, Scar was moderately to severely injured on several occasions. He even died on one occasion, a traumatic event that forced him to reconsider how recklessly he treated his own life. Until then, Scar was used to being able to put his life on the line without consequence. Because he places the value of his own life at a very low level, and there hadn't been anyone to care about his life for years, he became used to brushing off danger. If he died, he died. Nobody would really care. However, Scar realized that this was the opposite of the truth upon returning to the other patients after the news of his death had spread. Lust's own extremely shaken reaction to this served as something of a wake-up call for Scar. He couldn't simply brush off the emotions of others as being driven by ulterior motives, and he couldn't delegitimize the simple fact that his well-being had an impact on someone else. This second death proved to be a major turning point for him, both in how he treats himself and how he treats those who care about him.
Scar is also more aware about the goings-on in his home world, thanks to explanations from Lust, Edward, and Alphonse. He knows that the Amestrian government is run by a group that Lust formerly worked for, though he knows little else, since she seems pained to speak on the subject. The dynamic of their interaction as a whole has come more to light now that they have been forced to get along in order to help each other survive. Old solutions, as well as new problems have sparked between them, and their relationship continues to be heavily emotional and unpredictable, though it is starting to lean towards positive. Scar has gained a lot of trust in Lust throughout the past couple of weeks. Scar is still outwardly cold toward her out of habit, but he is at least aware now that he needs to treat her like a person, rather than the monster he has been taught that she is. He is much more attached to her, now that all of the friends that he had made in the Institute (Frank, Murphy, Edward an Alphonse) have vanished. In spite of his intensely mixed feelings, Lust is all he has left. They have come to understand one another better.
Scar was among a very small number of patients remaining on the final night of Landel's viscious game. The man's voice came over the intercom as it always did, though this time it bragged that every last one of them would be gone by morning. Scar had been in a haze that entire day: The Elrics, whom he had come to love as family, had vanished. Their disappearance was the last straw for a mind and spirit already worn to breaking point. He couldn't even bring himself to get angry at Landel, to stir his rage into driving him forward. His will was completely broken. Lust, desperate to find some way to get him to pull himself back together, simply told Scar that she needed him. That was enough for Scar to kick himself into getting up one more time and pursuing Landel one more night before they were all doomed.
This when when the grasp would grab him.
4. Samples
First-Person:
Information would be helpful. Or perhaps some sort of proof.
[The voice on the network is gravelly and exhausted. Scar isn't ready to even admit that this place... the Wyld... could be real. He could just finally be going mad.]
Is this a place of the dead? Or something that comes in between?
[A pause.]
If anybody has heard of a man called Landel, or the hospital he runs, I would like to speak with you.
Third-Person: A thread with Russel Tringham on stubbornness and racial outrage...
Third Sample: The Wyld was such an unnatural place. Scar worked for hours in the light of what should have been noon, yet there was no sun to burn his neck. The modest shelter was nearly finished. It was practical, not particularly attractive looking, but Scar never aimed for curb appeal. If anything, he would prefer to blend in. A man exhausted by life wished for little more than peace and quiet, and that was what he needed in this place. What he prayed he could find.
Prayed... As if he had the right to do that anymore.
There was something cathartic, in the hard manual work. Forming a stable building kept his wandering mind busy, much as it tried to veer back to its usual hangups. Where were the Elrics? What were they doing now? Were they okay? Was anyone okay? Scar wasn't even certain of what had happened, in that last night. It was all a haze. The last thing he remembered before arriving here was leaving for Lust's room...
It didn't matter how many times he told himself that it was of no importance, now. He still thought about them. Frank. Murphy. All those unnamed whom he had never had the chance to even properly know. What could he do? The place was strange, as were the people living in it. Part of him assumed that he must have been dead, trapped in this otherworldly land as he was.
Scar set down his tools and wiped the sweat from his brow. Wherever this strange new dimension lay, it was home now.