[Somebody else happens to be awake, sitting at the kitchen table with a bottle of beer and now and then making stabs at the shitty crossword in yesterday's paper. When the phone buzzes, he eyes the message for a while, then puts his pen down.]
You know what? It's your lucky day. I'm going to tell you the secret.
[text]
You know what? It's your lucky day. I'm going to tell you the secret.
I'll tell you the one reason why we're all here.
You ready?