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Do you think that about yourself? That you're a monster?
I know...I know now that it probably wasn't right to condition kids like me to fight witches. Or anybody. That the adults should have held more responsibility for the war that they started instead of recruiting us to help them fight. But I'll never consider myself a monster for doing what I thought would protect people from being hurt. I just want to continue protecting people, because I know it's the right thing to do.
So I'll ask again, do you think that you're a monster?
I know...I know now that it probably wasn't right to condition kids like me to fight witches. Or anybody. That the adults should have held more responsibility for the war that they started instead of recruiting us to help them fight. But I'll never consider myself a monster for doing what I thought would protect people from being hurt. I just want to continue protecting people, because I know it's the right thing to do.
So I'll ask again, do you think that you're a monster?
I was not referring to myself.
[Well then maybe you shouldn't be a vague baby, Scar.]
I mean the people whom we have seen as monsters. It becomes easy to call something less than human when it has failed to meet some personal expectation for what a human truly is.
[Well then maybe you shouldn't be a vague baby, Scar.]
I mean the people whom we have seen as monsters. It becomes easy to call something less than human when it has failed to meet some personal expectation for what a human truly is.
It is a complex subject, where I come from. People do not chose to fall from humanity. It is through no fault of their own but out of the foolishness of others.
[He imagines it would be easier, if it were the other way around.]
[He imagines it would be easier, if it were the other way around.]
I think...this may be an issue of metaphors versus literal speech.
[Only just now she's bringing this up??]
Being a human is seen as the weakest and most undesirable thing in my world, by...a lot of people. The gods that supposedly ruled over us were totally indifferent to us as individuals, and so let bad things start happening all over. People started growing afraid and felt like they needed to become like gods in order to have strength, not necessarily courage. So...they would...kill good people and eat their souls, their bodies change and they become what we call "Kishin eggs"--the precursor to becoming a demon god.
I think...even if humans aren't physically strong, they have something gods don't have. They have courage and they have persistence, it's just some people don't realize it and give up on humanity.
[Only just now she's bringing this up??]
Being a human is seen as the weakest and most undesirable thing in my world, by...a lot of people. The gods that supposedly ruled over us were totally indifferent to us as individuals, and so let bad things start happening all over. People started growing afraid and felt like they needed to become like gods in order to have strength, not necessarily courage. So...they would...kill good people and eat their souls, their bodies change and they become what we call "Kishin eggs"--the precursor to becoming a demon god.
I think...even if humans aren't physically strong, they have something gods don't have. They have courage and they have persistence, it's just some people don't realize it and give up on humanity.
"Human" is only a way of describing a person who is born naturally and mortal, in my world. There are some who think they surpass humanity by being something else, but others seek humanity. A dead person must be transmuted to become something else. A distorted and stripped version of their former selves.
[He hesitates for a moment.]
That is how the homunculi came into existence. Lust, and the people she calls her siblings. Their nature is not their doing.
[He hesitates for a moment.]
That is how the homunculi came into existence. Lust, and the people she calls her siblings. Their nature is not their doing.
Miss Lust was...?
[A corpse revived? Without consent? That's so cruel, who could be that selfish to do that to another person.]
Homunculi...I know the term, but I never thought any could exist. Kishin eggs are living people, and they revel in what they've become.
[A corpse revived? Without consent? That's so cruel, who could be that selfish to do that to another person.]
Homunculi...I know the term, but I never thought any could exist. Kishin eggs are living people, and they revel in what they've become.
Neither did I, until I met them. They sought to regain humanity. At the very least, Lust did.
I trust I am telling you these things in confidence.
I trust I am telling you these things in confidence.
I trust you, I simply needed to be certain. The subject is sensitive, for reasons that are obvious. It simply serves to explanation for their sometimes strange ways.
Well...you know, I trust you too. If you're sharing something like this out of trust, I couldn't betray that, then I'd be no better than--
[A pause. She was getting a little off topic. No, steer it back to the subject, Maka.
...Except now she's thinking of the kishin eggs she was sent to kill actually being homunculi like Lust and feeling ill.]
[A pause. She was getting a little off topic. No, steer it back to the subject, Maka.
...Except now she's thinking of the kishin eggs she was sent to kill actually being homunculi like Lust and feeling ill.]
[Scar's eyebrows twitch slightly up at the pause.]
Are you all right?
Are you all right?
[A breath of a sigh comes as an answer.
All right.
He shared with her, time to reciprocate.]
I've only let myself call two men in my whole life here and at home "father." They've both hurt me, betrayed my trust somehow. First my natural father by abandoning me and my mother to sleep around, then this found father by leaving Johto.
I know it's irrational, but I take trust seriously.
All right.
He shared with her, time to reciprocate.]
I've only let myself call two men in my whole life here and at home "father." They've both hurt me, betrayed my trust somehow. First my natural father by abandoning me and my mother to sleep around, then this found father by leaving Johto.
I know it's irrational, but I take trust seriously.
It is not irrational. Trust is best left earned, rather than given freely.
I cannot remember what my father looked like, or anything of him. But I have experienced my share of loss, and what it can do to the ways we connect with people.
[And they ways he just couldn't, anymore.]
I cannot remember what my father looked like, or anything of him. But I have experienced my share of loss, and what it can do to the ways we connect with people.
[And they ways he just couldn't, anymore.]
[So last night kind of exploded everywhere. Between his and Envy's fight and Scar and Lust...happening, what had been a fun day had quickly soured into a bitter taste in the back of everyone's throats. He'd been distracted enough that he'd only caught the edges of the lover's quarrel, but now that he had the attention to spare...]
[He's almost nervous turning on the feed, and it's clear in his expression.]
Scar...what happened?
[He's almost nervous turning on the feed, and it's clear in his expression.]
Scar...what happened?
[In that way, Maka lost something intrinsic, the ability to bond with people on the level of intimate closeness. Contradictory considering her own nature of being kind and giving. Even speaking frankly like this with another person is something she'll look back on and regret later, because it opened up something that can be used against her.
But when push comes to shove, one has to realize that it's not a bad thing to open up and life is about taking risks. Sure, she'll probably always have difficulty with trusting people, but Maka will remind herself--again--there is nothing wrong with her. She is not a broken person. She shouldn't wallow in guilt and doubt about what she's done and what's been done to her.]
You know what he taught me, the man I knew here? He'd pretend to not give a shit, he'd say strange things, he'd cover up his eyes and call himself by an assumed name so nobody would try to get close to him.
But he taught me to care about myself. He taught me that if anyone is going to make me feel bad about myself, they're not worth my time. He showed me that I shouldn't run away from the idea of getting close to people just because of things that happened in my past, just because of perceived shortcomings, because being close to another person means making them happy, it means they make you happy. You make a whole lot of new happiness together, no matter what pieces broke off of you along the way to meeting them.
I'm not a broken person, I'm not a monster--in the metaphorical or literal sense--I have friends and family made here, and...people that I feel comfortable with making a new life for myself here. Not to forget my past, but to create a better future.
That's what I think.
But when push comes to shove, one has to realize that it's not a bad thing to open up and life is about taking risks. Sure, she'll probably always have difficulty with trusting people, but Maka will remind herself--again--there is nothing wrong with her. She is not a broken person. She shouldn't wallow in guilt and doubt about what she's done and what's been done to her.]
You know what he taught me, the man I knew here? He'd pretend to not give a shit, he'd say strange things, he'd cover up his eyes and call himself by an assumed name so nobody would try to get close to him.
But he taught me to care about myself. He taught me that if anyone is going to make me feel bad about myself, they're not worth my time. He showed me that I shouldn't run away from the idea of getting close to people just because of things that happened in my past, just because of perceived shortcomings, because being close to another person means making them happy, it means they make you happy. You make a whole lot of new happiness together, no matter what pieces broke off of you along the way to meeting them.
I'm not a broken person, I'm not a monster--in the metaphorical or literal sense--I have friends and family made here, and...people that I feel comfortable with making a new life for myself here. Not to forget my past, but to create a better future.
That's what I think.
[Al is only really getting an answer because his Pokémon answer the 'Gear. After some awkward jostling of the camera by Amit, it finally ends up with Scar in the view. He's sitting in the sand, in exactly the same place as the night before. He hasn't slept, and that much is obvious.]
Lust and I are no longer speaking.
[His voice is raspy and quiet, and his face vaguely flinches when he gives voice to the reality.]
Lust and I are no longer speaking.
[His voice is raspy and quiet, and his face vaguely flinches when he gives voice to the reality.]
[...oh boy. This is a lot worse than he thought.]
[Al frowns with concern, biting his lip.] I...I kind of gathered that, but why? Did you get in a fight?
[Al frowns with concern, biting his lip.] I...I kind of gathered that, but why? Did you get in a fight?
No.
[Scar visibly droops, his frown darkening.]
She kept the truth of Lyra from me. I... yelled at her.
Is she safe?
[He hates himself so much.]
[Scar visibly droops, his frown darkening.]
She kept the truth of Lyra from me. I... yelled at her.
Is she safe?
[He hates himself so much.]
Wh--you didn't know?
[Why would she not tell him? It wasn't safe, if Dante showed up here they needed to all know it was her, or she'd drive a wedge into the happiness they had here in an instant!]
She's...Greed and Envy are taking care of her. She's taking it pretty badly.
[He neglects to mention the drinking and crying, knowing that Scar doesn't need any more guilt on top of whatever else is stewing in his head.]
You're still on the beach, right? I'll come find you. [Someone needs to take care of Scar, too, and he knows the rest of the household won't go near Scar with a ten-foot-pole right now.]
[Why would she not tell him? It wasn't safe, if Dante showed up here they needed to all know it was her, or she'd drive a wedge into the happiness they had here in an instant!]
She's...Greed and Envy are taking care of her. She's taking it pretty badly.
[He neglects to mention the drinking and crying, knowing that Scar doesn't need any more guilt on top of whatever else is stewing in his head.]
You're still on the beach, right? I'll come find you. [Someone needs to take care of Scar, too, and he knows the rest of the household won't go near Scar with a ten-foot-pole right now.]
[No, they would, they would just beat him with it.]
Not until Wrath told me.
[He takes a shuddering breath.]
Please don't.
Not until Wrath told me.
[He takes a shuddering breath.]
Please don't.
[Oh boy. It's just messes on messes right now.]
I'm sorry, I would have told you, but I assumed...
[He shakes his head firmly--nope, no getting out of being mother-henned, big man. The feed jostles, and it's clear he's already on the move.]
You need someone around just as much as she does.
I'm sorry, I would have told you, but I assumed...
[He shakes his head firmly--nope, no getting out of being mother-henned, big man. The feed jostles, and it's clear he's already on the move.]
You need someone around just as much as she does.
Is someone with her?
[He hasn't slept and he isn't thinking so clearly, so his thoughts and words are a bit disjointed.]
She was upset... I've never seen her so upset. It was my fault.
[Just ignoring Al's mention of coming to get him. And he really doesn't care that Al never told him. He had no reason to.]
[He hasn't slept and he isn't thinking so clearly, so his thoughts and words are a bit disjointed.]
She was upset... I've never seen her so upset. It was my fault.
[Just ignoring Al's mention of coming to get him. And he really doesn't care that Al never told him. He had no reason to.]
Yes, they're with her right now.
[His gaze keeps flickering between his surroundings and the Gear. They'd had the party over this way, right...?]
You can make things up later, once you're both feeling better. This isn't forever.
[His gaze keeps flickering between his surroundings and the Gear. They'd had the party over this way, right...?]
You can make things up later, once you're both feeling better. This isn't forever.
Yes, it is.
That I did this at all is proof that it needs to be.
That I did this at all is proof that it needs to be.
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