It is not irrational. Trust is best left earned, rather than given freely.
I cannot remember what my father looked like, or anything of him. But I have experienced my share of loss, and what it can do to the ways we connect with people.
[In that way, Maka lost something intrinsic, the ability to bond with people on the level of intimate closeness. Contradictory considering her own nature of being kind and giving. Even speaking frankly like this with another person is something she'll look back on and regret later, because it opened up something that can be used against her.
But when push comes to shove, one has to realize that it's not a bad thing to open up and life is about taking risks. Sure, she'll probably always have difficulty with trusting people, but Maka will remind herself--again--there is nothing wrong with her. She is not a broken person. She shouldn't wallow in guilt and doubt about what she's done and what's been done to her.]
You know what he taught me, the man I knew here? He'd pretend to not give a shit, he'd say strange things, he'd cover up his eyes and call himself by an assumed name so nobody would try to get close to him.
But he taught me to care about myself. He taught me that if anyone is going to make me feel bad about myself, they're not worth my time. He showed me that I shouldn't run away from the idea of getting close to people just because of things that happened in my past, just because of perceived shortcomings, because being close to another person means making them happy, it means they make you happy. You make a whole lot of new happiness together, no matter what pieces broke off of you along the way to meeting them.
I'm not a broken person, I'm not a monster--in the metaphorical or literal sense--I have friends and family made here, and...people that I feel comfortable with making a new life for myself here. Not to forget my past, but to create a better future.
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I cannot remember what my father looked like, or anything of him. But I have experienced my share of loss, and what it can do to the ways we connect with people.
[And they ways he just couldn't, anymore.]
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But when push comes to shove, one has to realize that it's not a bad thing to open up and life is about taking risks. Sure, she'll probably always have difficulty with trusting people, but Maka will remind herself--again--there is nothing wrong with her. She is not a broken person. She shouldn't wallow in guilt and doubt about what she's done and what's been done to her.]
You know what he taught me, the man I knew here? He'd pretend to not give a shit, he'd say strange things, he'd cover up his eyes and call himself by an assumed name so nobody would try to get close to him.
But he taught me to care about myself. He taught me that if anyone is going to make me feel bad about myself, they're not worth my time. He showed me that I shouldn't run away from the idea of getting close to people just because of things that happened in my past, just because of perceived shortcomings, because being close to another person means making them happy, it means they make you happy. You make a whole lot of new happiness together, no matter what pieces broke off of you along the way to meeting them.
I'm not a broken person, I'm not a monster--in the metaphorical or literal sense--I have friends and family made here, and...people that I feel comfortable with making a new life for myself here. Not to forget my past, but to create a better future.
That's what I think.