A small, single note laugh escaped Lust at that. She looked up, a bit startled by the expression on his face. It wasn't one she could remember seeing before.
"That's all it is." She didn't sob, she didn't shake, she didn't make those great disgusting wet noises that came with proper crying or turn red. "Just a bit of moisture from the eyes, nothing more. I'd stop it if I could."
Though it had stopped on its own - there was rarely very much.
"The point is that you can't," he grumbled, daring to look down and meet her eyes when she moved. Scar slipped his fingers under her bangs to push them back from her eyes. It suddenly hit him, how closely they were standing. All of the implications that came with that.
He was even more surprised to find that he didn't really mind.
It was strange, in a way. This sort of closeness and contact had always held certain associations for Lust, but none of that is there right now. The way they were standing together, the way Scar's fingers brushed her hair, it was all very intimate but she found no desire for anything more than this. Not an active one. Strange, to be able to discern between the small differences in wants and needs. Like strings on a harpsichord, each one separate but making a whole, sometimes thrumming altogether and sometimes only one or two strings plucked.
That was how it was now. Active romantic feelings without sexual desire, though both always existed quietly in the underparts of her mind. It was surprisingly nice. And for her, this was more meaningful and important and worthy of exploration. She'd rather be held and chastely touched in caring and compassion than anything else.
"I still wish I wouldn't. It doesn't matter, they're all gone now."
"It just means that there's something there," he murmured, assuming she understood what he meant. All of that nonsense about humanity and emotions and what they had been told...
Scar's hands came to cup her cheeks, though it was really more like cradling her whole head, given their relative sizes.
Her hands ended up coming to rest on his chest, palms flat. She knew what he meant, and was grateful he'd said it. Lust had a number of doubts and questions regarding who she was, but the what no longer plagued her. Whatever biology she may have possessed at any given time, she was and had always been just a woman.
It didn't matter what that vile woman had tried to sell her as truth. Perhaps her feelings were stronger and harder to ignore or push away now, but they'd always existed. She'd feared that he'd never be able to see that, to look past the strange circumstances of her existence and just accept her as a woman.
Scar's eyes softened when she, yet again, found a way to explain things in a way that wasn't entirely normal but made sense in her odd little way. He was silent for another moment, feeling as though he had filled his limit for conversation like this for the night.
"It's probably ready. We can sit at the table or in the living room. I sometimes watch the late night movies, when I can't sleep." They tended to be inoffensive and end on a positive note, and pleasant enough to stare at when her mind refused to settle into tiredness.
"Living room." Scar hadn't come inside just to sit on a kitchen chair when there was a couch one room over, and she had mentioned television. so maybe she wanted to watch. He finally drew away to let her tend to the tea.
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"That's all it is." She didn't sob, she didn't shake, she didn't make those great disgusting wet noises that came with proper crying or turn red. "Just a bit of moisture from the eyes, nothing more. I'd stop it if I could."
Though it had stopped on its own - there was rarely very much.
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He was even more surprised to find that he didn't really mind.
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That was how it was now. Active romantic feelings without sexual desire, though both always existed quietly in the underparts of her mind. It was surprisingly nice. And for her, this was more meaningful and important and worthy of exploration. She'd rather be held and chastely touched in caring and compassion than anything else.
"I still wish I wouldn't. It doesn't matter, they're all gone now."
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Scar's hands came to cup her cheeks, though it was really more like cradling her whole head, given their relative sizes.
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Her hands ended up coming to rest on his chest, palms flat. She knew what he meant, and was grateful he'd said it. Lust had a number of doubts and questions regarding who she was, but the what no longer plagued her. Whatever biology she may have possessed at any given time, she was and had always been just a woman.
It didn't matter what that vile woman had tried to sell her as truth. Perhaps her feelings were stronger and harder to ignore or push away now, but they'd always existed. She'd feared that he'd never be able to see that, to look past the strange circumstances of her existence and just accept her as a woman.
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"How long does the tea take?" Such tact.
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