Scar gave her one more cynical look before dropping it.
"You should know how to keep yourself safe," he agreed quietly, embarrassed that he hadn't directly thought of it before. Scar was quicker to assume that he would just have to work harder to keep her safe, rather than actually teaching her how to defend herself.
"And I can't do that the ways I know how." Lust nodded. It had been remarkably touching when Alphonse brought it up, and explained his motivation. Sweet that he would think of her like that.
"It never even occurred to me that I don't know how to fight without my talons. I'm sure I could defend myself well enough if I had to, but better to be prepared. It's good fitness training, too." She paused.
"It's funny, I don't know quite when I began adjusting to actually being human, but it's beginning to seem normal."
Scar stared at his plate rather than at Lust, uncertain of what he should say. Adjusting was a good thing, right? Especially if she stopped offering up way too much information whenever the subject of the supposed weaknesses of physical humanity came up.
"It's likely that you're more naturally inclined to it," he finally offered.
Lust nodded at Scar's comment. He had a point - Greed and Envy had been human very briefly, in the scope of things. She was young. She was younger even than her human roommates, technically speaking.
"I was human longer than I was anything else. I don't have centuries of readjusting to do. And maybe...maybe the physical remembers, in some way. I don't know. I think my favorite part is being comfortable." She spoke between bites, her tone light and casual. For once, she wasn't focusing on the negative aspects.
"I mean physically comfortable. Comfortable clothes, comfortable shoes, hot baths that relax the muscles...it's all nicer, human."
And she could wear whatever she damn well pleased.
"A homunculus doesn't experience those sensations?" He frowned up at her over his breakfast. That seemed like such an innate biological function that going without it sounded maddening.
Sometimes, physical comfort, the softness of his Pokémon or of a real bed, were the only things that helped.
"Oh we do, it just...feels nicer, human. It's more appreciated, I suppose." Lust frowned thoughtfully, trying to put it into words. "My body's just more receptive to physical comforts, I suppose. I warm all the way through, not just my skin, and the warm makes a difference. My muscles get tight and sore now, so there's a noted difference when that tension is eased..."
She nodded then, stumbling on it as she spoke.
"That's it exactly. The comfort means more because the discomfort matters now. There's no constant neutral anymore." She got cold, tired, sore, itchy, tense.... the relief of it was true relief.
"Nothing a hot bath with salts doesn't relieve. It's no different than any other physical exertion." Lust shrugged. There were evenings when she was sore, but a long day out would do the same. "As long as I keep in shape, it's not going to put any serious strain on me."
Which was why she was taking such an interest in her own physical fitness. But it was sweet, that Scar was concerned.
"I'm just as sore from my workout with Alphonse this morning. Which isn't even sore, more of a...stiffness."
"Hm." Scar only made a quiet noise in acknowledgement. He still didn't really like what she did, but he wasn't in the position to say anything about it, either.
"Is he doing well?" It was easier to talk about somebody else, and Scar had done a poor job of keeping in touch with people after the new year had turned over.
"He is. He's settled well, taking care of himself. He's making plenty of friends." Alphonse was forging a nice life for himself here. A pity he didn't have his beloved brother, but she felt that the youngest Elric could handle standing on his own.
"He's a good teacher, too. I enjoy working with him."
"I worry, with his brother gone," Scar muttered, almost under his breath as he stared down at his food and continued to eat. Much as he thought this world to be a much better place to live than their own, the brothers didn't belong here. Even less so, one brother didn't belong here while the other was gone.
"He's doing alright, without Edward. He isn't entirely alone here. He has people in his life already who care about him and look after him if need be." Alphonse had that easy way to him. "He has people to talk to, to go to when he has a need. He's a good trainer and he adores his Pokemon."
It was sad, yes, that the brothers were divided, but...perhaps it was healthy, too, for Alphonse to learn to live on his own and exist as a single entity. Not an Elric Brother, but Alphonse.
"Really?" Lust blinked, a bit surprised at that. It wasn't as though Alphonse needed to, they were in relatively consistent contact. The youngest Elric was over the house more than Scar, for goodness sakes.
"We speak often, too. And I think I see him more often than I see you. Why would he be asking about me?"
Does what, was all Lust could think. Ask about people when he already knew how they were? Well, he was exceptionally kind hearted.
And while he didn't ask her how Scar was at any frequent rate, he did sometimes inquire as to how things were between them. Or bring it up casually. And of course there'd been his reaction when Lust confirmed that yes, they'd come to an agreement of sorts. So she supposed Scar was right, Alphonse just did things like that.
He was a sweet young man.
"Maybe it's his subtle way of making sure we're still talking. He is a bit invested, for some reason."
"You know how he is." Lust shrugged. "He just wants things to work out for everyone. Including us. I hope you don't mind that he's aware - he was curious, I didn't want to lie."
And it was Alphonse. She wasn't going out of her way to tell anyone, but if she was asked about it....
"I think most of the universe did, to be quite fair." Even Pride had realized, back home.
"And that says a great deal right there." Nothing had changed because they'd been carrying on as a pair for months.
"Really, it was all about getting it out in the open and being clear we're on the same page. Speaking for myself...it makes things easier. I'm not as nervous with you, not constantly picking apart everything you say and every glance you give me, trying to find some clear meaning or intent. I'm not lying awake at night anymore, wondering if I've misjudged everything."
"That might be stretching it..." Scar mumbled, more out of some attempt to save his pride than anything else. He was looking anywhere but Lust the longer she spoke. Why did he have to feel so uncomfortable with all of this? He wasn't ready for this, wasn't ready to talk to her like this, to know that she thought of him so often.
Even if he had known for a while, it didn't make it any less uncomfortable.
"You should have just asked," he finally muttered, not irritated, just quiet.
She shrugged, a small motion. She should have, it would have cleared everything up much sooner. She should have reached out to him right when he'd left her that letter.
But she hadn't, and that was on her.
"I was too afraid the answer would be one I didn't want to hear."
Lust's excuse sounded pathetic, even to her own ears.
Scar's eyes softened, and he dared to glance up at her for a moment before darting his eyes back to his plate.
"I had hoped you would say something. When I wrote you," he admitted, pushing what was left of his breakfast around in the dish. What, exactly, he had wanted her to say, he didn't know. Just something. That had been incredibly difficult to write.
"I should have. I couldn't tell if it was a confession of feelings or a goodbye." Lust managed a soft chuckle. "I still get...frightened of my own emotions, sometimes. And then a week had passed and I felt stupid saying something after that much time had passed."
It felt good to explain, at least.
"I did appreciate it, though." She still had it, tucked away in a book in her room.
"I don't know what it was intended to be." Other than a conversation starter, he supposed. He always butchered spoken words, with her, so it had been worth a try.
Not a very good one, it turned out.
"Emotions are difficult to manage." It was like he felt more, since coming to Johto.
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"You should know how to keep yourself safe," he agreed quietly, embarrassed that he hadn't directly thought of it before. Scar was quicker to assume that he would just have to work harder to keep her safe, rather than actually teaching her how to defend herself.
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"It never even occurred to me that I don't know how to fight without my talons. I'm sure I could defend myself well enough if I had to, but better to be prepared. It's good fitness training, too." She paused.
"It's funny, I don't know quite when I began adjusting to actually being human, but it's beginning to seem normal."
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"It's likely that you're more naturally inclined to it," he finally offered.
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"I was human longer than I was anything else. I don't have centuries of readjusting to do. And maybe...maybe the physical remembers, in some way. I don't know. I think my favorite part is being comfortable." She spoke between bites, her tone light and casual. For once, she wasn't focusing on the negative aspects.
"I mean physically comfortable. Comfortable clothes, comfortable shoes, hot baths that relax the muscles...it's all nicer, human."
And she could wear whatever she damn well pleased.
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Sometimes, physical comfort, the softness of his Pokémon or of a real bed, were the only things that helped.
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She nodded then, stumbling on it as she spoke.
"That's it exactly. The comfort means more because the discomfort matters now. There's no constant neutral anymore." She got cold, tired, sore, itchy, tense.... the relief of it was true relief.
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"Does your... work... put you under physical stress?" Another glance up.
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Which was why she was taking such an interest in her own physical fitness. But it was sweet, that Scar was concerned.
"I'm just as sore from my workout with Alphonse this morning. Which isn't even sore, more of a...stiffness."
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"Is he doing well?" It was easier to talk about somebody else, and Scar had done a poor job of keeping in touch with people after the new year had turned over.
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"He's a good teacher, too. I enjoy working with him."
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It was sad, yes, that the brothers were divided, but...perhaps it was healthy, too, for Alphonse to learn to live on his own and exist as a single entity. Not an Elric Brother, but Alphonse.
"I'm sure he'd like to see you more."
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"He asks about you, a lot."
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"We speak often, too. And I think I see him more often than I see you. Why would he be asking about me?"
The obvious didn't occur to her.
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"I don't know. He's Alphonse, he does things like that."
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And while he didn't ask her how Scar was at any frequent rate, he did sometimes inquire as to how things were between them. Or bring it up casually. And of course there'd been his reaction when Lust confirmed that yes, they'd come to an agreement of sorts. So she supposed Scar was right, Alphonse just did things like that.
He was a sweet young man.
"Maybe it's his subtle way of making sure we're still talking. He is a bit invested, for some reason."
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"Invested?" He had an idea of what Lust was saying, but he wasn't certain. In their... relationship?
He still tripped over that word, in his head.
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And it was Alphonse. She wasn't going out of her way to tell anyone, but if she was asked about it....
Only Alphonse and Envy had asked, though.
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"Not much has changed, anyway." Not really.
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"And that says a great deal right there." Nothing had changed because they'd been carrying on as a pair for months.
"Really, it was all about getting it out in the open and being clear we're on the same page. Speaking for myself...it makes things easier. I'm not as nervous with you, not constantly picking apart everything you say and every glance you give me, trying to find some clear meaning or intent. I'm not lying awake at night anymore, wondering if I've misjudged everything."
It was a relief to be done with that.
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Even if he had known for a while, it didn't make it any less uncomfortable.
"You should have just asked," he finally muttered, not irritated, just quiet.
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She shrugged, a small motion. She should have, it would have cleared everything up much sooner. She should have reached out to him right when he'd left her that letter.
But she hadn't, and that was on her.
"I was too afraid the answer would be one I didn't want to hear."
Lust's excuse sounded pathetic, even to her own ears.
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"I had hoped you would say something. When I wrote you," he admitted, pushing what was left of his breakfast around in the dish. What, exactly, he had wanted her to say, he didn't know. Just something. That had been incredibly difficult to write.
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It felt good to explain, at least.
"I did appreciate it, though." She still had it, tucked away in a book in her room.
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Not a very good one, it turned out.
"Emotions are difficult to manage." It was like he felt more, since coming to Johto.
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