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[envy_the_sinners]

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[envy_the_sinners]

A valid restriction, if its name means anything.

[Scar struggles with this. Just talking for the sake of talking.]

[a_sin_for_him]

My Swirlix. Are you familiar with them? Their bodies are cotton candy. Organic cotton candy.

Do you ever just stop and think about the biology of your Pokemon?

[envy_the_sinners]

[And now they're jumping between topics...]

I have stopped questioning it. I end up thinking that this is all a dying fever dream.

[To be brutally honest.]

[a_sin_for_him]

I try not to think about it but my mind always comes back to it. At least if this is all a fever dream, it's a pleasant one.

I don't know if I've really talked about it before, but I studied biology and anatomy at some length back home.

[Mostly in relation to alchemical theory.]

[envy_the_sinners]

[What... does she want him to say to that?]

Oh.

[a_sin_for_him]

That's why I find myself thinking about the Pokemon so often. Part of me desperately wants to understand all of their nature, how they developed, why the evolve the way they do, what it says about the physical laws of this world...

[Her own nature is a curious one, and her genuine interest in the subject is clear in her voice.]

But actually trying to drives me mad.

[envy_the_sinners]

I doubt that there actually is a logic to be discovered.

Maybe this really is some kind of dreamscape.

[a_sin_for_him]

There has to be some, even if it's logic our minds can't comprehend.

I think that, sometimes. But if it's some dream, it's one we're all sharing together. And I don't honestly care if it is or if it isn't. If I can have the life I want, and enjoy it, what does it really matter?

[envy_the_sinners]

It doesn't, really.

[That, he can agree with. Even if none of this is actually real... What does it matter? It's real to them.]

This is all just something to have before we're thrown back to our fates, whatever they are.

[a_sin_for_him]

I know.

[Lust just hopes the time they have here is lengthy.]

But we do have it. We'd be fools if we weren't making as much of it as we could. For however long we're here. It's been almost a year already.

[envy_the_sinners]

[Scar has to stop and be silent for a long while after that, occasionally shifting just enough to let her know that he's still on the line. It was something he had mentioned, when he wrote her. How difficult it is to know that one of them could be gone forever tomorrow.]

I dislike thinking on it.

[a_sin_for_him]

So do I, but we both suffer from lasting cases of realism.

But you're right, that's some possible future. I worry too much, I know I do. I can't seem to help it sometimes.

[envy_the_sinners]

I am not saying you worry too much.

Worrying is likely better than ignoring it. Something about seizing what little time you likely have.

[a_sin_for_him]

I know that you weren't. I was saying it. I do worry too much. About all manner of things.

But there's that part of me that whispers 'what if it's a long time?'. There are people who have been here for four years.

[envy_the_sinners]

A very few. Most aren't here much longer than we have been.

[Scar falls silent. He suddenly wishes he could see her face. But that would require being the one to initiate a live video... He can't do that.]

[a_sin_for_him]

I know. And I know it's stupidly irrational, but I keep thinking...why not us? Why can't we have years and years and years in this place?

But sometimes it's drowned out by the other voice, the one that screams not to be a fool, I'm not that lucky.

[She hasn't confessed these fears to anyone else before.]

[envy_the_sinners]

Sometimes I think like that. That maybe we do have time.

[He pauses again.]

It's empty optimism.

[a_sin_for_him]

[Lust is quiet for a few moments. And she hates the way the silence wraps around her, more chilling right now than the winter wind outside her window. Empty optimism. Is it? And really...how different is it than anyone else?]

I suppose...that's part of life, though, no matter where you are. No one ever knows when the end is coming. For us...

[She doesn't need to finish the sad but true fact that they have no lives beyond this place.]

Would it be alright if we turn on the video function? Looking at the wall right now...

[envy_the_sinners]

[Scar doesn't answer the question. He just turns on the video feed. He's huddled by a fire, Miriam wrapped up inside Scar's thick coat with her head poking out of the collar. She prefers staying like this over being in her ball, even when the nights are bad.

He can't think of anything to say, at the moment. His worn eyes say more than whatever meager attempt at comfort he could probably manage. She doesn't have to spell it out. They're living on stolen time.]

[a_sin_for_him]

[It's such a strange relief to see him, even though she hates that he's out in the cold right now. Her eyes are brighter than normal, that shimmering sort of bright that signals held back tears. She touches the 'Gear screen, pressing her fingertips to it and not caring that he can see what she's doing. She's just glad to be able to look at his face and be certain he's here.]

Sometimes I wish it weren't all so uncertain.

[envy_the_sinners]

[A bit of innocent surprise crosses Scar's face when he sees her. They've had talks like this in the past, but they never seemed to hit her so hard.

Nothing ever seems to hit her so hard. It's strange to see her like this at all, and it stirs an instinct he doesn't know how to properly express.]

That would be too much of a luxury, in light of all of this.

[He's visibly hesitating on something for a moment.]

Would you like me to come over?

[a_sin_for_him]

Would you?

[She wants him physically with her very badly right now. And it's touching that he offers, and she can't keep the relief and small bit of desperation out of her voice.]

I could use your company.

[envy_the_sinners]

[Scar nods, standing up and holding onto Miriam as he kicks dirt into the fire.]

I'll message you when I'm there.

[It's only a few minutes before he sends her a text to say that he's at the door. He can only hope that everyone else is asleep.]

[a_sin_for_him]

[She's at the door in her thick robe as soon as she gets his text. He doesn't come to the house often, and he's rarely gone out of his way to seek her out even knowing she's upset. She remembers a few weeks ago, their conversation over breakfast. He really has changed for the better, even if he doesn't realize it.]

Thank you.

[The house is quiet, the other inhabitants either sleeping or out for the night or doing whatever it was they did in the private of their sleeping areas after the house went dark. Even Guttle is still sleeping, and it's Lust's young Houndour that's at her heels when she greets Scar.]

[She doesn't bother to specify what she's thanking him for.]

[envy_the_sinners]

Scar only nodded as he stepped inside. Miriam was awake, but still sluggish and curled up in his coat. It was nice, at least, to step into the warm. He took off his slushy shoes and left them by the door.

He just wasn't sure what he should do now. Scar looked in Lust's direction, trying to see if she had settled any.